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SYRIAN POLICE FIRE ON THOUSANDS BUT ONLY HIT ONE

"My kitten can shoot better than Syrian Soldiers," a Syrian official was quoted as saying.

DAMASCUS, Syria — Police fired live ammunition and tear gas today at thousands of Syrians protesting in the tense southern city of Darwaa for a third consecutive day. One person was killed. It’s not clear if the victim was a protester or a police officer.

An anonymous senior police official in Damascus angrily told and IWN reporter, “Allah himself must be embarrassed. Why do we bother giving our officers weapons training? My kitten could shoot straighter!”

A U.S. State Department official is quoted as saying, “Well, if we ever have to go to war with Syria, we could paint bull’s eyes on our boys and probably not lose one of them.”

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